Director’s Cut

I have already done so many posts, but have I really found out what the real use of a blog is?

Ok, so how do I put this… more than half of my blog is filler. Of course, I could clean it up, but I do not intend to. Mainly because I like filler. Ah… filler… almost everything in this world is used as filler.

Yep, you guessed it(even though I know you don’t use your mind that often.), the topic of the post is once again totally irrelevant, and most likely contrary to the title. Why I keep on putting such useless words and string them together to make it a considerable sentence is unexplainable.

But, it’s still filler. Yes, you just wasted 2-5 minutes reading boring crap like this. Ah… crap…everybody around me can be compared to that same object. Amazing…

Sorry for the overused insults(for those who have never been insulted, or just plain don’t know how to be insulted, I apologize for the inconvenience.). Apparently, my humor is getting rusty.

Sigh… I’m getting repetitive aren’t I?

Umm… so how do I start? Maybe by boringly repearing my uttermost thoughts about her? So corny…

Remember what I said about not talkin’ about her? I take it back. I’ll eat my words. I can’t stop thinking about her, and I don’t know why… What I’m supposed to forget, comes back threefold. Sigh……..

This morning, in class, my Filipino teacher(Go G. Reyes! Woohoo!!) asked me how a geek like me falls in love, and expresses ir. I became speechless; one thing I’ve never done since I started falling for her. I then tried to look back into my past memories buried underneath and asked myself: "Did I even TRY to tell her about how I feel?". Ahh… stupidity, a very serious mental disorder. (".)

Of course, no one really knows if I plan on doing that… wait… umm… uh… hmm…[insert garbled noises here which resemble a broken printer...]…[insert 'garbage' characters here]…[insert anything here...I'm begging you...]

But then, I only plan on doing so if I intend to leave her behind… forever… something which I cannot do right now…

C’mon, let’s put on a sad face…

Well, I’m not forcing you to do so. Besides, sadness isn’t something which I can never force to a person. The same thing is true for love. You can never force another to do so, even if you are already doing your best to make them do so. You can never force that someone… never… take my word for it. You can never alter someone’s emotion.

Anyway, this time, let’s put on a happy face! (Don’t do this while people are looking at you, otherwise they might imply you are mentally unstable.)

But just wanted to let you guys know that I’ve won another quiz bee; this time it’s Math. It’s as if I’m already getting used to those kinds of things.

Also, I’ve redone 2/3 of my website already. Try checking it out, for the sake of killing 5 minutes of your spare time.

Uhm… define love?

Never mind.

1 week… a 1 week cooldown. I can’t forget about her, damn.

Did you hear me? I said, I can’t forget about her!

Forget this.

I don’t know why I can’t delete my thoughts about her in my mind. The more I try to do so, the more I think about her. Ah, love… something science can’t explain. Oh why, why can’t I?!?! Why won’t my mind, or rather, my heart(if I have one. :D), set me free?

The only thing which can set me free, probably, is if she comes back for me, which I doubt will ever happen. If it does, well, I’m happy. I’m recompleted.

Hah. Another corny line from me. "She completes my life." Yuck.

Another thing which confuses me still is that many people seem to keep forcing the fact that we make such a great couple(bagay kami, ika nga. sori sa bigla kong pagtatagalog.). Why is that?!?!?!

Love. Pain. Confusion. Regret. Corniness. [Insert totally irrelated noun here which causes incoherence.]

P.S. If anybody got my jokes here in the blog, tell me. I need to know if I should keep them.

Well, the timing of the post sucks. I suck. Duh.

4 days… 4 very cruel days… and I’m very happy! ^_^

I’ve forgotten about her!(In your face, _________! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! But, wait, I may sound evil. I’m sorry.). But I only said that because she doesn’t even want me. I just reflected the statement back to her. Letting go sure is fun, but I’m not to be marked sadistic.

I don’t regret meeting her. I regret falling in love with her. Stupid… stupid… stupid… o_0

*The main goal of this post was sour grapes. If you don’t know what that idiomatic expression means, too bad! HAHAHAHA!!!

Let’s just hope the remaining weeks of my first year in high school would be, ’safe’.

*Special Note: From this day forth, I will never, I reiterate, NEVER, talk about "The Most Wonderful Girl On Earth", or at least until I find another one to take her place… hehehe… :D)

I’m one of those very unlucky individuals who had an unlucky Valentine’s Day. "Happy Valentine’s Day" my ass. ‘Nuff said.

Oh wait, that’s not enough.

I’ve made the very critical mistake of falling in love, and, I’m not willing to make that same mistake ever again. Ever. Again. DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?! Besides, I just broke my self-proclaimed promise of not falling in love. This time, I mean it.

If falling in love is this painful, well, at least no one’s seeing it.

Remember, if you really love someone, let her go.

Yes, I’m the one letting go. Since I found out that she already has somebody else, it’s time to let go of her, I said to myself. It feels good, that at least once, I truly fell in love. Is that even considered letting go? Probably. And yes, I purposely removed the last part of that expression. It’s not that I don’t want her to go back, and along with my feelings for her(off to the Recycle Bin they go!), but it’s just that I’m not expecting that to happen. All I can say is, good luck to her. I’ll let her go on with my life, if my mind promises to let me go on with mine.

Don’t worry, I’m not mad at her. I’m not mad at love. I’m mad at myself for falling in love. Was I too stupid?

I’m trying to forget her…

[ERROR DELETING FILE: FILE MAY BE IN USE BY ANOTHER PROGRAM OR PROCESS]

I know I cannot forget about her in a single day, but I must. I have to.

Help me God, I need to forget about her. I need to focus on my studies. FOCUS!!! If I can.

If I do fall in love later in life(which I doubt will happen), I’ll immediately thrash those kinds of feelings. It’s not that I’m scared of getting hurt; in fact, getting emotionally scarred by someone you love is actually quite an enjoyable experience; you learn to stand up as a stronger and better person later.

***********************
"I have to let go, kung ‘yan ang gusto mo
It better be this way, it’s time to let go
But when the time comes, wala ng sisihan
Naka-recover na ako…
D’YAN KA NA!

*Chorus — Ouch by Blades
***********************

Hmm, where did I use that line before, and why do I use it anyway? Two questions deserve… no answers! Haha…

Well, the month of February has been, normal(and by normal I mean UFOs popping out of nowhere, paranormal events happening out of the blue…), and that’s the best I could describe it.

But, a single moment in time should never be wasted. I intend to fix this error of mine, and prevent others from doing the same mistake.

Eternity is something which never ends… time never ends… hmmm….

However, a good question is this: what lies beyond eternity?

What would happen if you get past time? Going at the speed of light won’t do, and it’ll never help. All you’ll get is probably, age faster?

Why do I use that expression, if, I cannot even prove it? Oh wait, I can.

I myself do not know what lies beyond eternity, so all I can say is there is darkness beyond eternity, beyond time. How can you get past something which never ends? Don’t bother asking me that, I don’t know either.

So, my friend, ponder on that, and when you get the complexity and ultimately comprehend the message underneath, you will have gathered great knowledge…

Of course, you can try defining love too, if that was too hard for you.

Oh, the horror, yes, horror, you know, scary stuff… well, I’m desperate… boo!

Oh, that didn’t scare you, well, that’s not my plan anyway, anyway…

bad luck rains on me…

ok, this time I’m serious.

Too much bad luck pouring on me; work pilin’ up, the girl of my dreams is very mad at me(which I didn’t really notice until know, but….), and my computer got screwed. all data lost… (sob, sob…)

Note: Please, DO NOT VISIT MY WEBSITE, i think HostFree4Life’s server got screwed too. Coincidence? Yes.

For those expecting a release of my game, remember, the website’s screwed. I’ll try contacting support…

Anyway, just came here to warn you about what happens if you have bad luck. wait, maybe this is karma. I’ll check with my numerologist/astrologist/feng shui expert/psychologist/mental disease specialist…

Well, it’s not necessarily a requirement or something vitally important but…

Well, I just want people to read this.

No, but my brain is overloaded again. Prepare for a long post.

Aww, c’mon. It’s not like I do this everyday. Oh, wait, I do.

You know that time is once again running out. Tension building up. #nervous. I don’t think I could even go to school on Monday, considering that I’m too screwed up, and I’m assuming all my plans wil fail. As each hour passes me by, I become more and more tense. My brain is going to explode if I keep this up, and this time it’s no joke. *breathes deeply*

I don’t think I could consider myself "The Luckiest Guy On Earth" even if I’ve met "The Most Wonderful Girl On Earth". Reason: she’s ignoring me. My most probable guess is that she found out about what I truly feel, and that just makes the situation 10×10 worse.

Of course, I’m still being confused if she will like me if I tell her how I feel, but then again, I have nothing to lose.

There is a very small chance that she is what I’m expecting her to be: my soulmate. But, I’m just dreaming. The chances are small, small, small.

I know I’m not acting normal. I normally don’t think about these kinds of things. It’s probably because I’m mentally unstable.

The only thing I ask of you is to pray to your deity/s and wish me some luck. if many people do this at the same time, then this good luck will build up and I will have lots of luck. And of course, that statement was totally irrelevant from the true intention of this post.

It’s not because I take drugs. It’s because I really did fall in love, seriously, for the first time.

It would be nice if you at least tried using your brain to comprehend the complexity of the vocabulary used in this post.

Well, no, that was a bit too sadistic. I’m sorry.

If you thought the last post was looooong, well, this post is, quite shorter.

It’s just a post that I made to pass the time. Yes, I have excess time, but I’m not giving them to you.

I’m actually uploading a file right now on my website. For those who are actually interested in the growth of my website(those who visit it frequently, and therefore maximize the use of the excess bandwidth), check it out.

Well, my mind isn’t still as fixated as before. I’ve been better. But, it’s just that I can’t get her out of my mind, and you know what? I like it… but you cannot confuse me with a sadist; a sadist’s mind is less severely corrupted than mine, but a mentally deranged man’s mind is more severe, don’t worry.

I’m just going to infinitely continue this post until the upload is done, so you’re not doing yourself any good by reading this post. I’m not either.

The sad fact of the matter is that I thought this was gonna be a short post. In fact, it may even be longer. But that’s probably because I used a bigger font.

[Last file being uploaded...]

Please wait…

never mind. i’ve wasted my precious time. reason: the file transfer failed.