Director’s Cut

Uhm… define love?

Never mind.

1 week… a 1 week cooldown. I can’t forget about her, damn.

Did you hear me? I said, I can’t forget about her!

Forget this.

I don’t know why I can’t delete my thoughts about her in my mind. The more I try to do so, the more I think about her. Ah, love… something science can’t explain. Oh why, why can’t I?!?! Why won’t my mind, or rather, my heart(if I have one. :D), set me free?

The only thing which can set me free, probably, is if she comes back for me, which I doubt will ever happen. If it does, well, I’m happy. I’m recompleted.

Hah. Another corny line from me. "She completes my life." Yuck.

Another thing which confuses me still is that many people seem to keep forcing the fact that we make such a great couple(bagay kami, ika nga. sori sa bigla kong pagtatagalog.). Why is that?!?!?!

Love. Pain. Confusion. Regret. Corniness. [Insert totally irrelated noun here which causes incoherence.]

P.S. If anybody got my jokes here in the blog, tell me. I need to know if I should keep them.

Well, the timing of the post sucks. I suck. Duh.

4 days… 4 very cruel days… and I’m very happy! ^_^

I’ve forgotten about her!(In your face, _________! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! But, wait, I may sound evil. I’m sorry.). But I only said that because she doesn’t even want me. I just reflected the statement back to her. Letting go sure is fun, but I’m not to be marked sadistic.

I don’t regret meeting her. I regret falling in love with her. Stupid… stupid… stupid… o_0

*The main goal of this post was sour grapes. If you don’t know what that idiomatic expression means, too bad! HAHAHAHA!!!

Let’s just hope the remaining weeks of my first year in high school would be, ’safe’.

*Special Note: From this day forth, I will never, I reiterate, NEVER, talk about "The Most Wonderful Girl On Earth", or at least until I find another one to take her place… hehehe… :D)

I’m one of those very unlucky individuals who had an unlucky Valentine’s Day. "Happy Valentine’s Day" my ass. ‘Nuff said.

Oh wait, that’s not enough.

I’ve made the very critical mistake of falling in love, and, I’m not willing to make that same mistake ever again. Ever. Again. DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?! Besides, I just broke my self-proclaimed promise of not falling in love. This time, I mean it.

If falling in love is this painful, well, at least no one’s seeing it.

Remember, if you really love someone, let her go.

Yes, I’m the one letting go. Since I found out that she already has somebody else, it’s time to let go of her, I said to myself. It feels good, that at least once, I truly fell in love. Is that even considered letting go? Probably. And yes, I purposely removed the last part of that expression. It’s not that I don’t want her to go back, and along with my feelings for her(off to the Recycle Bin they go!), but it’s just that I’m not expecting that to happen. All I can say is, good luck to her. I’ll let her go on with my life, if my mind promises to let me go on with mine.

Don’t worry, I’m not mad at her. I’m not mad at love. I’m mad at myself for falling in love. Was I too stupid?

I’m trying to forget her…

[ERROR DELETING FILE: FILE MAY BE IN USE BY ANOTHER PROGRAM OR PROCESS]

I know I cannot forget about her in a single day, but I must. I have to.

Help me God, I need to forget about her. I need to focus on my studies. FOCUS!!! If I can.

If I do fall in love later in life(which I doubt will happen), I’ll immediately thrash those kinds of feelings. It’s not that I’m scared of getting hurt; in fact, getting emotionally scarred by someone you love is actually quite an enjoyable experience; you learn to stand up as a stronger and better person later.

***********************
"I have to let go, kung ‘yan ang gusto mo
It better be this way, it’s time to let go
But when the time comes, wala ng sisihan
Naka-recover na ako…
D’YAN KA NA!

*Chorus — Ouch by Blades
***********************

Hmm, where did I use that line before, and why do I use it anyway? Two questions deserve… no answers! Haha…

Well, the month of February has been, normal(and by normal I mean UFOs popping out of nowhere, paranormal events happening out of the blue…), and that’s the best I could describe it.

But, a single moment in time should never be wasted. I intend to fix this error of mine, and prevent others from doing the same mistake.

Eternity is something which never ends… time never ends… hmmm….

However, a good question is this: what lies beyond eternity?

What would happen if you get past time? Going at the speed of light won’t do, and it’ll never help. All you’ll get is probably, age faster?

Why do I use that expression, if, I cannot even prove it? Oh wait, I can.

I myself do not know what lies beyond eternity, so all I can say is there is darkness beyond eternity, beyond time. How can you get past something which never ends? Don’t bother asking me that, I don’t know either.

So, my friend, ponder on that, and when you get the complexity and ultimately comprehend the message underneath, you will have gathered great knowledge…

Of course, you can try defining love too, if that was too hard for you.

Oh, the horror, yes, horror, you know, scary stuff… well, I’m desperate… boo!

Oh, that didn’t scare you, well, that’s not my plan anyway, anyway…

bad luck rains on me…

ok, this time I’m serious.

Too much bad luck pouring on me; work pilin’ up, the girl of my dreams is very mad at me(which I didn’t really notice until know, but….), and my computer got screwed. all data lost… (sob, sob…)

Note: Please, DO NOT VISIT MY WEBSITE, i think HostFree4Life’s server got screwed too. Coincidence? Yes.

For those expecting a release of my game, remember, the website’s screwed. I’ll try contacting support…

Anyway, just came here to warn you about what happens if you have bad luck. wait, maybe this is karma. I’ll check with my numerologist/astrologist/feng shui expert/psychologist/mental disease specialist…

Well, it’s not necessarily a requirement or something vitally important but…

Well, I just want people to read this.

No, but my brain is overloaded again. Prepare for a long post.

Aww, c’mon. It’s not like I do this everyday. Oh, wait, I do.

You know that time is once again running out. Tension building up. #nervous. I don’t think I could even go to school on Monday, considering that I’m too screwed up, and I’m assuming all my plans wil fail. As each hour passes me by, I become more and more tense. My brain is going to explode if I keep this up, and this time it’s no joke. *breathes deeply*

I don’t think I could consider myself "The Luckiest Guy On Earth" even if I’ve met "The Most Wonderful Girl On Earth". Reason: she’s ignoring me. My most probable guess is that she found out about what I truly feel, and that just makes the situation 10×10 worse.

Of course, I’m still being confused if she will like me if I tell her how I feel, but then again, I have nothing to lose.

There is a very small chance that she is what I’m expecting her to be: my soulmate. But, I’m just dreaming. The chances are small, small, small.

I know I’m not acting normal. I normally don’t think about these kinds of things. It’s probably because I’m mentally unstable.

The only thing I ask of you is to pray to your deity/s and wish me some luck. if many people do this at the same time, then this good luck will build up and I will have lots of luck. And of course, that statement was totally irrelevant from the true intention of this post.

It’s not because I take drugs. It’s because I really did fall in love, seriously, for the first time.

It would be nice if you at least tried using your brain to comprehend the complexity of the vocabulary used in this post.

Well, no, that was a bit too sadistic. I’m sorry.

If you thought the last post was looooong, well, this post is, quite shorter.

It’s just a post that I made to pass the time. Yes, I have excess time, but I’m not giving them to you.

I’m actually uploading a file right now on my website. For those who are actually interested in the growth of my website(those who visit it frequently, and therefore maximize the use of the excess bandwidth), check it out.

Well, my mind isn’t still as fixated as before. I’ve been better. But, it’s just that I can’t get her out of my mind, and you know what? I like it… but you cannot confuse me with a sadist; a sadist’s mind is less severely corrupted than mine, but a mentally deranged man’s mind is more severe, don’t worry.

I’m just going to infinitely continue this post until the upload is done, so you’re not doing yourself any good by reading this post. I’m not either.

The sad fact of the matter is that I thought this was gonna be a short post. In fact, it may even be longer. But that’s probably because I used a bigger font.

[Last file being uploaded...]

Please wait…

never mind. i’ve wasted my precious time. reason: the file transfer failed.

I don’t feel like blogging now, but if you really want to…

Well nothing interesting happened in school today. In fact, I just screwed up, again. But this time, it’s ten times worse.

No this time, I’m going to engrave it in my mind that I should be serious right now. I’ll have to stay focused. Or else, something worse than the end of the world will happen, the end of my–

Meanwhile, in other news…

Check out my website. No, I’ve updated it this time. Honest.

Right now I’m still uploading that installer. Next time, I’m going to look for a better modem, or in the case of distributing my software, a CD-RW Drive*.

*This kind of hardware enables you to write data on a CD-R/CD-RW. However, if you want to write on a DVD-R/DVD-RW, use a DVD-RW Drive, duh.

Of course, I still have plans for Valentine’s day. May God bless me for what I am about to do. *does sign of the cross*. I’m not expecting any "yes" from her, but… miracles do happen… but seriously, I’m expecting she’ll either slap me hard, on the face, or she’ll say "Junvic, f*** you. get out of my sight!". But then again, i’ve never heard her swear, not to anyone. Or maybe that’s just my deafness working. I was supposed to ask her this afternoon, but my mind was cloudy again.

Yes, that’s right, blame my mind for forgetting about it. [insert typical profanity here]. I had a reason why I didn’t tell her, I just forgot it.

Something else also hit me today. Something which never even pokes my mind. Up to this end I never realized it.

It’s come to my attention that there is a very small chance that(and I’m having a strong feeling about this), that I’ll never see someone I’m dearly close to ever again. Or maybe that’s just my totally corrupted mind. And I don’t know why I’m repeating myself. And I don’t know why I’m repeating myself.

Sorry for the corny sense of humor. I’m repeating what corniness I have put in past posts(no I can’t pronounce that properly either).

I’m not thinking straight. But, then again, when did I think straight. I’m in love, dammit! How the hell am I supposed to think straight?!?!

Yes. It’s true, I’ve finally fallen for her. Of course, for very drastic and desperate privacy measures, I will not refer to her name at all costs in my blog. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Yet a question still bugs me(buzz, buzz): Does she know about what I feel for her? If she does then… but if she doesn’t then… My typical reaction to these kinds of things, but I shouldn’t be stupid enough to admit it to her sooner or later. And if she already knows, I don’t care. And, I shouldn’t be stupid enough either to pretend she doesn’t know. I can feel she does. S***. I mean, I want her to know how I feel, but I want to tell her personally. (Technically, that makes me more content.)Sounds contradicting, right? Exactly. I’m not thinking straight. HELP ME!!! Note: It’s of course pretty obvious I have nothing to lose on this one. Good Luck.

Man, falling in love is so painfully enjoyable. Yes, it’s a figure of speech. In other words, falling in love is painful, yet there is a chance you will still be happy if you’ve found the right one.

It’s been quite a funny experience, really. I really wasn’t in love with her the first time I saw her; just thought she was a regular schoolmate. I slowly fell for her, until now. Everytime I see her pass by or think about her, extreme bliss rushes through my body. Tell me, is that normal behavior? No.

Pretty long post, eh? And I told you nothing happened today. Heh.

Girl: Define love.
Boy: uhh… uhmm… oops, sorry, gotta go.

[My typical reason when I am asked to define love]

Truth is, I can’t define it. Love is different for every person, and for me, it’s a very unique and special feeling you’ll feel if you’ve found your special someone, the person meant for you. In simple terms, it’s complicated.

Of course, I’m not here to be too interested in love. Please visit my website.

Thank you for your time and patience.

Told ya, I can’t explain my emotions right now. Ahh, irony…

Oh, and one last thing…

I

I LOVE

I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOUNG KITTENS BECAUSE THEY’RE SO CUTE!

It would be nice on my part if no one read this post. DO YOU HEAR ME?! oops.

It wasn’t my idea to post today, but…

…and another thing before you continue reading: if you have a sarcastic sense of humor(in worse cases none at all), please do not take everything I say seriously. Seriously. Besides, missing my unfortunately senseless sense of humor distributed evenly and generously on my blog is probably too common already.

Which makes me think: do people really read my posts or are they just here to look at the date today?

its very insulting that people do not go to my blog to see my posts, but probably, to look at my links or just do something totally irrelevant. Like said from a previous Friendster bulletin post: "people are already getting to fake in here."

I’m serious. This is a serious matter and I am not laughing about it.

In other news… for those who ARE actually interested in my blog…

Many people are probably wondering what the hell my plans are for this year… let me give you a few hints…

• Making money. $$$, or whatever currency you take. Sorry I don’t accept Euros.
• Valentine’s day. You know, Feb. 14. If you still did not get what I meant, screw you. If you know who "The Most Wonderful Girl On Earth(for me, that is)", please keep quiet about it or else I will erase you and your entire family’s existence and push you into the very depths of hell itself. For those who don’t know who she(SHE, not HE) is, good for you. Those lucky individuals who do not know her are automatically exempted from my to-kill list.
• This blog, my website. HTML; Hyper Text Markup Language; I think version 4.01 is the latest.
• Game design. Its a hobby. Try it!
• Anything else involved with "living the most out of my life while I am still young". I forgot who I quoted that from, but, oh well.
• Advancing into 2nd year, and trying to keep my very-hard-to-keep-which-involves-genocidal-tactics-to-do-so-and-this-single-sentence-is-totally-hard-to-maintain-concenctration-on-so-stop-reading-this-and-kill-yourself scholarship. No, I don’t know how to read that sentence orally either.

While the days of January pass me by(and ruin my totally good mood sometimes. I don’t know why but it does.), I forgot what I was going to say. Never mind. Maybe in a next post, or better yet, on my website! Yay!

Sorry for the inconveniences caused by reading my blog. I tend to lengthen my sentences to the point of keyboard-bashing. But, most often, I fill my sentences using the tedious and time consuming process of adding totally irreleveant words and crap, so don’t worry your ass off for that one.

Yes, I know that my blog is of kick-ass quality, but sorry for the excessive swearing and/or cursing, saying profanities, and any other oral sinful actions. I just carried away with this post and started this f***ing swearing. I’ll f***ing try not to f***ing swear ever again. I’m f***ing serious.

But seriously, I’m sorry for the swearing.

Sorry, nothing to put in bold, for the moment, wait… yep… nothing…

Well, I have not done anything which can amuse you/attract your curiosity. No, I don’t do that.

Now see what happens if you don’t follow me? I told you not to read this. It’s crap.

THE END

That was made based solely on the fact I’ve learned hex color codes(all 147 of them!) for HTML.

No I’m serious. I have no news for you. Yes this is another one of my fillers. Go visit my website to kill approximately 25 secs.(for modem users), 8 secs.(for broadband users), or 4 secs.(T1 users)

THE END. FOR REAL.